Apparently
I don’t frighten easily
I saw two horror films
Yesterday
In the first
I sided with the villain
The second was beautiful
But I could still walk in the dark
When it was done
My instinct
When confronted by danger
Is to beat it up
My dreams have been reflecting that
I used to run
Get dizzy
Trip
When chased
Through a dreamscape
Now I turn towards it
Strike a defiant expression
And kick it in the face
I bite its fingers
Pull its hair
Punch its chest
Until either it loses the fight
Or it loses interest
I don’t think that scene
Would really play that way
If it was really me
On that sidewalk
If it was me
I would have won
Even without any weapons
Because I smack first
Get scared later
Unless you’re yelling
Then I freeze
Then I try so hard not to cry
In front of her
That she thinks I’m being
An arrogant bratty kid
But I’m not
I’m scared of her
And she doesn’t get it
She never got me
And I never got her
But she was different
She was from the army
Of the United States of America
Not the Army of Darkness
And she controlled my future
More than the undead did
Though they controlled my mind
Much more than she did
Or did they?
Maybe she controlled that, too
Maybe even my escapes
Were her fault
But she’s gone now
So there’s nothing to be afraid of
Except maybe real life
Out there all huge
And demanding
When all I want is to be now
And get my rewards
Now
And not have to plan
I hate planning
I like making lists
But organizing people overwhelms me
Because then they expect me
To have answers
I don’t have
I just want to be happy
I’m not God
I don’t have superpowers
No matter how much I want them
I might not scare easily
But I can sure feel small fast